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Sometimes, even in the most deranged way, having a total black out can be a blessing in disguise.

Around this time last night, my brother Patrick and myself were bored to death. For something to do, we talked about and looked back on our younger years. If there's something anyone needs to know about me and my siblings' form of past time, it's either we 1.) bicker a lot 2.) throw stuff at each other 3.) cut each other's throats or mercifully, 4.) bond over some junk food, soft drinks and stories that has seen better days.

Since it's just the two of us here in Manila (sad, I know), we recalled all of the funniest and strangest memories we've had while growing up. We talked about the shows we used to love, like Disney Channel, Little Lulu and The Simpsons, among others. Here's one fun fact: our dad didn't let us watch The Simpsons when we were younger because according to him, it contained vile language and visuals and dealt with adult content. But like any other children who preferred watching stuff our parents told us not to, we went behind his back and was glued to every episode of the most hilarious family on animated TV back in the day. You would find it interesting that my little brother and sister, ages twelve and nine respectively, are also regular viewers of The Simpsons these days. But daddy never says anything. WEIRD. And I thought we used to be the more mature youngsters.

Anyway, I told my brother Patrick my observation on the kinds of shows that Disney, Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon air these days. I said it seemed like they have lost their spunk and they show nothing but crap for the past two years. And my brother said, that maybe it's not the programs per se, but my lack of interest for anything that caters to 16 year olds and below. And maybe he is right. My interests have drastically shifted the last time I checked.

The yayas we used to have also became a topic for conversation. We were ranking who among those who have served us did a bad job and those whom we wished became our yaya forever. We had a lot of yayas with whom I wasn't very nice to, but there was a handful I was actually kind with.

I told him that my favorite had been, by far, Ate Aireen, who had been with us for almost a year when I was in fifth grade. She was dear to me because she was very maasikaso and malambing and she treated me very well. And you will be interested to know that she is one hot and sexy yaya, complete with the long flowing hair with highlights and boobs to boot. Of course even as a young girl, I have noticed that every time I'd go out with her on an errand that mum asks her to do, all the young men in our neighborhood would remark suggestive hints at her and she would just clutch my hand tightly on hers and throw bad words at them until they left her alone. She was a sweet yaya, and I remember, when she was still serving our family, she'd always, and I mean always go up to our room at night and give me a nice glass of warm milk and give my hands and feet a massage because she knows I like it after doing all of my homework. I really miss her. I wonder what happened to her after she left us all those years ago? Maybe if I will have the privilege of seeing her in the future, I'd hug her really really tight and thank her for being kind to me when I was a young girl.

My brother and I spent a good portion of the power-less evening just bonding over a candle light, some french fries and childhood reminisces.

When it was actually time to sleep, I couldn't make myself doze off for a while. Looking back at those childhood days of mine made me realize how much I really really wanted to go back as a carefree kid of seven or eight or nine. I used to live a really really sheltered life and the world I lived in usually took care of its own and I didn't have to worry about anything except do well in school and behave properly. Quite unlike the life I live now, I am bound to be responsible for my own actions and I shall be, much to my chagrin, the one who has to ultimately answer to the repercussions of the decisions-slash-mistakes I make now. I have come to accept a long long time ago that we all have to grow up sometime but I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. I guess I just ran out of "tomorrows", and sadly, I have to face "today".

I feel so bad that I have to live my life the other way around--while I was treated as an adult when I was a child, I find myself being totally irresponsible when everyone seems to expect the best out of me now.

But then again, we do need a little growing up on our part. It might not come anytime soon for me, but I assure you, when I get to that part of my life, I am going to do it flawlessly.

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And in the end, the little girl who thinks too much about rainbows and sunshine is still living under the radar and very much over-caffeinated. However, she is wishing that you, her dear reader, will hold on to her story and await her next misadventure. Until then, she wills herself to live a storybook happily ever after.

And she fervently hopes that you do, too!:)